Preparations for the Brit Milah

In Jewish tradition, it is customary for family and close friends to take active roles in the brit milah ceremony. This is a meaningful way to honor those close to you and include them in your child’s special day. When planning the event, it’s helpful to consider whether any relatives may be expecting a role, in order to avoid hurt feelings. Try to balance participation between both sides of the family when possible.

Common Roles in the Brit Milah Ceremony

Sandak – The sandak (from the Greek ‘syndikos’ meaning partner or representative) holds the baby on his lap during the circumcision. According to tradition, God Himself acted as the sandak during Abraham’s brit. The father places the baby on a pillow on the sandak’s lap, who is seated on Elijah’s Chair and wrapped in a tallit. Often, the honor is given to a grandfather—typically the father’s father for the first son, and the mother’s father for the second. However, customs vary, and considerations such as health, balance, or giving someone their first opportunity to be a sandak may influence the decision. It is acceptable to choose a close friend. While women reportedly served as sandakiyot in medieval Ashkenaz, this is not customary today.

Kvatterim (escorts) – The kvatterim (from ‘co-father’) are the escorts who carry the baby to the ceremony. They receive the baby from the mother and pass him to the father. There is no limit to the number or gender of kvatterim. Traditionally, this role is given to a newlywed or engaged couple, as a symbolic blessing. In some communities, the baby is passed through multiple generations—youths, parents, grandparents—before reaching the father. Historically, the roles of kvatter and sandak were sometimes one and the same, known as the ‘ba’al brit’.

Chayka (the holder) – From the Hebrew word for “lap,” this person helps transition the baby from the kvatter to the father and then from the father to the sandak. Sometimes an additional person places the baby briefly on Elijah’s Chair before handing him to the sandak. The multiple handovers echo the Temple practice of passing offerings through rows of priests.

Blessing Leaders – The blessings during the brit do not have to be recited by the father or the mohel. They may be given to others. One person recites the initial blessings over the wine (“Borei Pri HaGafen” and “Koret HaBrit”), while another continues with the prayer for the baby’s well-being and announces his Hebrew name.
The name can be whispered or handed to the reciter on a note. He pauses at “V’yikarei Shemo B’Yisrael” (“And his name shall be called in Israel”) and then announces the name out loud.

Speakers – Parents or family members may prepare a short speech of gratitude or reflection. If you plan to include remarks, it’s best to coordinate with the mohel and allow time in the schedule.